News and gossip about Britney Spears

Hollywood Stars like Ashton Kutcher and Brooke Mueller and their respective baby sitters Demi Moore and Charlie Sheen have hosted the Butterfly Ball to aid the homeless and near homeless persons of Southern California.

A silent auction had countless starlets’ maidenheads and their multiple lovers’ spent condoms for bargain basement prices.

Soon to be homeless Excito-hoes, Winehouse, Cyrus, Spears I and II and all of the other gossipteenypusses that titillate TheSpoof.com and countless other dotcum voyeurs expressed gratitude to the many trust fund lawyers who have kept their tired asses off of the street.

Most were sober enough to also thank the fundraisers who were actively keeping their sad behinds from being homeless.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious

Britney Spears’ mom is fighting her daughter’s battles again — telling a judge Britney should be excused from a driving without a license charge because the popwreck is … uh … easily confused.

In a declaration filed today, Lynne Spears claims that Brit didn’t know she needed a valid California license — because she was legit in Louisiana. FYI — CA law requires that people who move to the state get a CA drivers license within ten days of the move. Since the popwreck also has temporary residences in Florida and New York, Lynne claims her daughter had no idea she needed to jump through Cali’s hoops too.

Of course, the legal drama stems from an incident last year where she nailed a car in a parking lot and drove off.

But get this — even though she’s recently been searching for a new bachelorette pad in L.A., Mama Lynne says Britney still intends to return to Louisiana.

They’ll be back in court August 11.

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Ever since his divorce, Kevin Federline has kept a fairly low profile.

At least compared to Britney Spears’ pants-free clubbing and psych ward stints.

We all know the FedEx man loves to throw down in Sin City, though, and according to an investigative report by TMZ TV, on his frequent Vegas visits, K-Daddy has been spotted with the same chick on a regular basis, dating all the way back to 2006!

Better yet, “Angelina,” as she is known, is apparently a known criminal, having been arrested on a forgery charge. Wonder if K-Fed knows that!

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What a turn around. After an horrific start to the year Britney Spears is in with a chance to win an Emmy for her guest appearances on sitcom How I Met Your Mother. The Britster is one of 41 actresses under consideration for an Emmy.

Brit’s also up for the MTV Teen Choice Awards for 2008 in the Female Artist category competing against Fergie, Mariah Carey, Miley Cyrus (who hosts the awards show) and Rihanna. The result is decided by public vote (US residents only) and also includes categories for favourite reality show and reality television personalities. American Idol winner David Cook is nominated in the Male Reality/Variety Television category.

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LOS ANGELES (R00ters) - Michael Jackson may relaunch his career as a Las Vegas act along with new friend Britney Spears. Thanks to the private equity group that recently bought the loan on his Neverland Ranch in California to help the pop star avert foreclosure, Jackson is looking at repayment options.

“Obviously I love Michael,” said Britney, “and I want to help him save the Neverland Ranch. I think my stability will help Michael to become a better person.”

The investment firm Colostomy Capital is discussing with Jackson various repayment options for the $23 million debt. While a long-term engagement as the resident performer of a Vegas casino is possible, the company wants Jackson to make sure it is the right move.

Another option would have Jackson doing something with Circ Du Solei, similar to the Beatles “Love”. Jackson’s version would of course be called “Thriller” and feature the clowns pretending to dangle children from windows floating over the audience like hot air balloons.

Still another option has Jackson getting breast implants surgery and assuming the role of his longtime friend and obsession Dianna Ross. No word on whether or not Mr Jackson would have a complete sex change. If Michael chooses this option he says it is contingent on getting his brothers from the Jackson 5 to become The Supremes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious

Britain may have dancing dogs and quick footed kids, but when it comes to cross-dressing Britney Spears impersonators, America’s got it covered.

Sharon Osbourne was left gob smacked after a rather convincing lookalike of the pop star revealed he was in fact a man named Derrick Barry.

The America’s Got Talent hopeful, complete with long blonde tresses, polished make up and PVC costume, performed a dance routine to Britney’s hit Toxic.

Fellow judge Piers Morgan was the first to buzz out the act, adding later: ‘I did actually think you were very like Britney Spears… a complete and utter train wreck.’

But the performer did manage to impress David Hasslehoff, who voted him through after a standing ovation.

The former Baywatch star declared: ‘Oh my god, you’re hot!’

Sharon agreed, putting the 24-year-old through to the next round.

She concluded: ‘I’m in shock, I think Derrick is sensational.’

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The 17-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth via Caesarean section at Mississippi Southwest Regional Medical Center in MCComb, Mississippi. The baby girl weighed seven pounds, 11 ounces (3.5 kilograms). People Magazine reports that the baby’s name is Maddie Briann, but there is no word yet what her last name will be. Jamie Lynn Spears is engaged to the baby’s father, 19 year-old Casey Aldridge.
A source tells U.S. magazine People, “Just the family was there” at the time of the 9:30am birth, adding big sister Britney’s presence “made a big difference”.
Jamie and Casey have a new three bedroom home in Liberty, Mississippi on five acres of land. They recently purchased new furniture, including a four poster bed, a leather sofa and a canopy bed. The nursery for the new baby is designed in tones of pink, brown, and silver-green, and was outfitted the help of Jamie Lynn’s mother, Lynne.

There was a rumor that Jamie and Casey were going to name the baby with a combination of their two names, similar to Jamie Lynn, who is named after both parents. Maddie is an adorable name. According to the US Social Security administration, “Madison” was the fifth most popular baby girl’s name for 2007, so little Maddie may have some other playmates with the same nickname. “Maddie” is her name though, not Madison, and the Baby Name Wizard doesn’t have the name “Maddie” among the top 1,000 names for girls at any time.

Congratulations to Jamie Lynn and Casey, and best wishes to the new family.