“We make sure my princess has sex at least once, sometimes twice a day; it helps relieve the depression and clears her clogged up negative chakras.”

It appears Dad contacted a local male escort agency a month ago after deciding that sex would be the only way of getting his daughter back on track.

“She chose seven different escorts,” continued Jamie. “A different one visits Britney each day; week in week out.”

It is unclear what kind of sex is employed for the pop idol, but the therapy certainly appears to be doing the trick. The singer is now back in the recording studio learning how to sing again and there are rumours she has started dating.

Six months back the toxic Britney’s condition was so bad that nobody expected her to recover. Hospitalised and heavily sedated, she had become a drug-crazed death-wreck, dogged by controversy.

“I would recommend sex therapy to anyone requiring recovery from a long illness,” continued Jamie. “My daughter is loving it. You can see the happiness in her eyes.”

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious

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“We’ve grown a lot,” Mr. Spears told OK! magazine. “I’ve been able to come back into my daughter’s life, and that was an adjustment anyway, because I’m an alcoholic and it’s the first time we’ve really been able to share.”

On the custody battle: “It made no sense for that trial to proceed so we worked out an agreement. The agreement says that on Oct. 1 we’ll probably get another overnight, and that will stay in place until the end of the year or the end of the conservatorship.”

On Kevin Federline: “Kevin has a wonderful heart. I don’t agree with giving him more money… He wants them to raise these kids together. Kevin’s heart is right.”

On the conservatorship: “I would hope that it stands until the end of the year, and then we’ll sit back and evaluate where we are at the time, where Britney is at that time.”

Jamie added that while the taking over of the conservatorship by her father was a “major adjustment” for Britney, it’s been a blessing in disguise, and has given them both a second chance to grow together and re-build their father-daughter relationship.

“It’s wonderful. It’s new for both of us,” he said. “She sometimes calls me 50 times a day and asks me things that light my life up. But, like all daughters, she is very manipulative and cunning. So she gets what she wants a lot.

“I do understand that my baby made this monster,” he added. “But when she was down, people took advantage.”

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Britney Spears and Chris Brown will lead MTV Video Music Awards next month (07-Sep-2008) after landing three nominations apiece.
Both stars will compete for the night’s Video of The Year honour; Spears will also fight for Best Pop Video and Best Female Video of the Year for Piece of Me.
Meanwhile, other artists up for Best Video are the Jonas Brothers for Burnin Up, the Pussycat Dolls for When I Grow Up and newcomers the Ting Tings for Shut Up and Let Me Go. Brown is nominated for Forever.
Paramore, Fall Out Boy, Slipknot, Linkin Park and Foo Fighters will compete for the Best Rock Video prize.

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“Sam also said that after Britney went to court for driving without a license and couldn’t drive her children around anymore, she went into a rage,” the source continues. “She broke almost every piece of glass in her home and said she wanted to cut herself.”

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Barack Obama’s daughters hate Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. The vapid blonde celebutards were recently linked to the Democratic presidential nominee after his Republican rival, John McCain, launched a TV ad campaign comparing Obama to the two world-famous bimbos.

Ironically, Obama’s daughters Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7, can’t stand Paris or Britney. “Malia and Sasha are very down on Britney Spears and Paris Hilton,” Barack told Marie Claire magazine. “Malia is the first one to change [the channel] if something suddenly comes on that she thinks is inappropriate.”

In the interview–which was done months before the recent TV ad became public–Obama criticized how pop culture today forces kids to grow up before they’re ready. “The way the culture sexualizes young girls is a problem; it encroaches on their childhood,” he said.

In the recent controversial political ad, the McCain camp calls Obama the “biggest celebrity in the world,” interspersing the voiceover with clips of famous bimbos Britney and Paris.

The ad states, “He’s the biggest celebrity in the world, but is he ready to lead? With gas prices soaring, Barack Obama says no to offshore drilling. And says he’ll raise taxes on electricity. Higher taxes, more foreign oil. That’s the real Obama.”

The Obama camp hit back at the snarky political ad, saying: “On a day when major news organizations are taking Senator McCain to task for a steady stream of false, negative attacks, his campaign has launched yet another. Or, as some might say, ‘Oops! He did it again.’”

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Britney Spears has refuted reports she has accepted a role in Quentin Tarantino’s next project as a

British newspaper the Daily Mirror claims Spears was set to play exotic dancer Varla in a remake of the 1965 movie Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!
But a spokesman for Spears denies she is working with Tarantino.
The representative says, “Though she definitely intends to explore acting roles down the road, right now she’s concentrating on recording her next album.”

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